Love Is An Act, Not A Feeling

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Some of us have lived thinking that marriage is about feelings (as in emotions); instead of love and commitment.

Well, according to the Bible, Love isn’t a feeling but an act.

When you make a vow – you choose to commit, until death. It doesn’t matter how bad you feel, how bored, how uninspired or unwilling you are.

Love is an act that needs to be personified and expressed.

You don’t speak love – you do love.

Commitment to put your spouse above yourself means changing your perspective on love from viewing it as a personal gain into a mutual gain.

When they are happy, you are happy. You pursue a common goal and in the end, enjoy it together!

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Nobody is flawless. Every relationship faces hardships. In the event yours suffers the same, don’t let obstacles or wrong situations drag you down. Feelings are temporal, but not Love.

With hope and Perseverance, just keep pushing.

For instance: Treat your relationship like a “parent-child” situation. When a parent gets bored of raising a child, they don’t leave the child. They don’t yell at them and tell the child that there’s no more left to give. Instead, they stay committed as parents.

How to express Love as an act  

Getting married to someone isn’t a right, it’s a privilege. So, don’t treat the relationship as a  temporary situation, but as an eternal one. But how do you achieve this?

Love is not self-seeking– Let the one you love, live life through you. Place them above you. Give them a little more than you take for yourself.

Instead of blaming and criticizing – try to fix more. Don’t let anger cause you to think of a breakup. Instead, sacrifice your opinions, in a manner that positions you to walk with him/her out of the situation.

Sometimes, admit to being the one on the wrong side of the argument. This way, you can create room for patience. Listen. Give them an ear. Then figure out a way together. In the end, you’ll come out of the argument with better solutions, together.

Feelings are fleeting, yet we chase after them. Somehow, we self-sabotage ourselves in pursuit of a mere feeling.

There will come a time when things get worse. It might be in a form of a disease, or disability, aging etc. These uncertainties that will hurt you both.

These shockwaves might paint sadness over your face. When this comes, what do you do?

Don’t Dishonor them. Instead, prepare to face any new challenges, together. Even with some of their ability fading away, let your earlier memories reflect hope and don’t let the near reality disconnect you.

Will it inflict some sort of pain on you? Yes.

Will it call for painful discussions? Yes,

But know this: Love won’t let anything damage you, unless you let it.

Love is kind.

As pointed earlier, Love is a privilege and it calls for continued commitment. If you mean it, you’ll self-sacrifice for love: you’ll better your morals, change both goals and ambitions. Perhaps, some of your partners and so-called friends will have to get thrown to the wayside, just to give everything to one person.

Don’t take your partner for granted. If you do, you might wake up one day and realize that you don’t recognize the person you loved your whole life. When it’s too late!

Don’t delight in evil, but rejoice with the truth

When young, no burden seems heavy. – mm-hmm… the nostalgia of a younger time.

But the older we get, those same easy memories we thought could last forever, gradually, they fade away. We put on weight, we become more tired, wrinkles, teeth fall off… In short, we face a new norm.

Even then, find a way of enjoying yourself. Don’t get trapped in the past, which seems to be gone in an instant. Embrace the changes brought by time. Don’t fight them back.

Don’t seek plastic surgery to help you get back into the past – Instead, embrace the new norm!

As time goes by, Let your Love become deeper and stronger.